Bit of Fun from Billy Connolly
Billy Connolly’s 13 Things I Hate About People.
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the $%#@ is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say “Oh, you just want your have your cake and eat it too”.
%$#@ing right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?
4. When people say “It’s always in the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the would people keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film “Did you see that?”. No tosser, I paid ten quid to come to the cinema and stare at the $#@$king floor.
6. People who ask “Can I ask a question?”. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say “Life is short”. What the ? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever #@!$ing does! What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone says “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob Head?
10. People who say things like “My eyes aren’t what they used to be.”. So, what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
11. When you’re eating something and someone asks “Is that nice?”. No, it’s revolting. I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that’s an image I really didn’t need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you if you don’t insert the ‘Mc’ before every item you are ordering.... It has to be a McChicken burger, just a chicken burger gets blank looks....Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you #@!$ing McTosser!
1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the $%#@ is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.
3. When people say “Oh, you just want your have your cake and eat it too”.
%$#@ing right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?
4. When people say “It’s always in the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the would people keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
5. When people say while watching a film “Did you see that?”. No tosser, I paid ten quid to come to the cinema and stare at the $#@$king floor.
6. People who ask “Can I ask a question?”. Didn’t really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?
7. When something is ‘new and improved!’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
8. When people say “Life is short”. What the ? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever #@!$ing does! What can you do that’s longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone says “Has the bus come yet?”. If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob Head?
10. People who say things like “My eyes aren’t what they used to be.”. So, what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?
11. When you’re eating something and someone asks “Is that nice?”. No, it’s revolting. I always eat stuff I hate.
12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks, that’s an image I really didn’t need.
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don’t understand you if you don’t insert the ‘Mc’ before every item you are ordering.... It has to be a McChicken burger, just a chicken burger gets blank looks....Well I’ll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you #@!$ing McTosser!
posted by Mary @ 11:54 PM
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